Dear Cecily,

You'll find someone who shares your view and make a very happy marriage, I feel confident. But here are some words of encouragement. You'll find them in Ephesians 5:25.

This is the chapter in which Paul suggests that wives be "subject to their husbands." 

I'll say two things about this.

One is that Paul lived a long time ago--and some of his words are intimately tied to those long-ago times. This would be just such a chapter--a chapter which reflects the customs of those times, which are not even close to the 20th century. Now, that doesn't mean that we have progressed in every respect. Nor does it mean that wives and husbands don't need to know who's in charge and who has responsibility for this or that--and where, as they say, "the buck stops." This proves particularly important when there are children, so that a child can't play one parent against the other. But Paul, even in his day, did not mean to encourage family dictatorships or to crown the man king in a way that would discourage women's initiative, creativity and love being expressed in the relationship.

How do I know that? In Ephesians 5:25, Paul writes, "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church." And in verse 28, "so ought men to love their wives as their own bodies." That's the kind of husband every woman should have--and that's the belief on which your marriage should be based. I wish you well.