The Rite of Marriage
The church encourages a couple to have their wedding ceremony in the context of the Mass. If for some reason that is inappropriate (for example, one of the couple and his or her family are not Catholic and thus would not be receiving Communion), the ceremony can be held within a shorter religious service.
When the ceremony takes place during Mass, it comes after the liturgy of the word-the readings from the Bible and the homily. Some of the prayers of the Rite of Marriage have alternate forms, and the readings can vary as well. Any variations can be decided by a couple and their priest. At the heart of the ceremony are the following questions by the priest and the vows by the couple. Addressing the couple, the priest says:
- Have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?
- Will you love and honor each other as husband and wife for the rest of your lives?
- Will you accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his church?
After responding to each question, the man and the woman in turn each vow their commitment with these words:
I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.
The ceremony highlights the public commitment of the couple to each other. The Christian community needs to hear people say that love is possible, that love exists. The promises that the couple make before the congregation tell all who are present that these two persons have a goal of permanent commitment to foster each other's good and thus the good of society as a whole. Consequently, public weddings are occasions of tremendous optimism for the entire assembled community. The couple, too, need this public witness; they need to feel the support of the community, as their friends and family witness their pledge of faithful love. Then the couple can realize that this community will be there for them when times are tough.